ARTICLE
| Nov/Dec 2010 |
Always Must Be Now
The Practice of Patience
by Jon Mundy, Ph.D.
Time is a trick, a sleight of hand, a vast illusion in which figures come and go as if by magic.
Yet there is a plan behind appearances that does not change. The script is written.
When experience will come to end your doubting has been set.
For we but see the journey from the point at which it ended, looking back on it, imagining we make it once again;
reviewing mentally, what has gone by.
Workbook 158.4:1-5
God wills you perfect happiness now.
Is it possible that this is not also your will?
Text 9. VIII. 7:8
Things seem to happen sequentially, in time, one after another. We have past, present, and future. We make up seconds, minutes, hours, weeks and months and then forget that these “measuring devices” are all of our own making. We could have made up months with three weeks of ten days each. We could have seconds with different length than what we’ve constructed. Days could be made up with a different set of what we call hours. We make up measuring devices and then we live as though what we’ve made up is reality. Time makes sense when we perceive events moving in a linear sequence from the past, through the present, into the future. According to Moses Maimonides (1135–1204, Spain, Egypt), a foremost mystic in medieval Judaism, the idea of God creating the world at some point in time is itself a projection from time-bound circumstances. Time is the ego’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.
For us believing physicists, the distinction between past,
present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
German Born Physicist, Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
Einstein’s secretary once asked him if he could explain to her the theory of relativity, and he said, “Two hours with a beautiful woman seems like two minutes. Two minutes on a hot stove seems like two hours. That is relativity!” Time can speed up. It can slow down. What if it stopped? Would that not give us a wholly new perspective? Scientists tell us that if we could travel at the speed of light—186,000 miles per second—time would stop! We live in time, in fact, we’re innately caught in time.
And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough,
and looking back, is fit for the Kingdom of God.
Luke 9:62
Be still today and listen to the truth. Be not deceived by voices of the dead, which tell you they have found the source of life and offer it to you for your belief. Attend them not, but listen to the truth.
Workbook 106.2:2-4
The voices of the dead are traditions; the ego frame of reference’ the way we have always looked at the world. In order to see, we have to stop making up the world. We have to be still and listen. We are easily preoccupied with the past—lost loves, unfulfilled ambitions, incomplete degrees, feelings of nostalgia, regret, and remorse are all part of the dreaming mind. Where is a grievance? A grievance can exist only in my mind and it can only be about something in the past, even if it was only a moment ago. Dr. William Thetford was once asked how one can know if they are progressing in the Course and he said, “You can tell by how quickly you’re willing to let a grievance go.” Living the Course means not only more quickly letting go of grievance, it means we don’t have grievances because we do not create them.
Unless you learn that past pain is an illusion,
you are choosing a future of illusions and losing the many
opportunities you could find for release in the present.
Text 13. IV. 6:5
I watched an old black and white movie in which a fellow falls in love with a girl. Then, something he thinks unforgivable happens. He finds out something unpleasant about her past. He rejects her, runs away, gets into an accident, and develops amnesia. When she finds out about the accident, she rushes to find him but he does not remember her and low and behold, he falls in love with her all over again without the memory of any grievance.
A friend tells the story of being married to an alcoholic who abused her, not physically but psychologically. He died and when he died, she said the anger she had toward him disappeared in an instant—like someone had opened a valve on a drain; the pain dissipated, and all that was left was the love she felt for him. Forgiveness, says the Course, is selective remembering based not on your selection. (T-17.III.1:3). Holding a grievance is painful, whether it be a grievance we hold against others or ourselves. Only forgiving ourselves and letting it go brings peace.
You consider it “natural” to use your past experience
as the reference point from which to judge the present.
Yet this is “unnatural” because it is delusional.
When you have learned to look on everyone with no reference at all to the past, either his or yours as you perceived it,
you will be able to learn from what you see now.
Text 13. VI. 2:1-3
Without memory, there could be no guilt. Remorse, penitence, and painful memories arise only in association to past events. The older we get, the more past we have, the greater the pull to live in the past. The younger we are, the more we tend to “project” the future. Did you ever wake up in the morning and before getting up, start a rehearsal of a variety of mistakes made in the past and “if only” you had chosen differently? We have guilt in the past. We say, “If only—if only. . . If only, I had made a series of different choices in the past, I would have a different present.” That is true. If we had made a series of different choices in the past, we would have a different present; but, we did not make a series of different choices in the past, so we now have our present.
Only through forgiveness of ourselves for thinking we should have a different past can we undo the effects of the past (guilt) in the present. Forgiving ourselves comes in the acceptance of the fact that we could never have a different past. The more focused I am, the less distracting is any past. One of the things we can say for sure about the past is that it is not here now. Whatever happened in the past—whatever guilt or blame we place upon ourselves or others—does not exist in the moment unless I try to drag it into the moment.
Perhaps you do not yet fully realize
just what holding grievances does to your mind.
It seems to split you off from your Source and make you unlike Him.
Workbook 68.1:5-6
I knew a man whose father was a rough, difficult man. The son had a lot of trouble dealing with his father and often felt he hated him. Then one day the father, who was now getting older, was hit by a car while crossing the street. A few days later, he suffered a stroke. He never quite recovered. After that his mind changed and he became more childlike—more loving. Now the man whom the son had hated was altogether different and dependent upon his son to care for him. What a dilemma! The old man, who the son had hated, was no longer hateful. Now, he was loving. As the son was willing to let go of the past, a healing occurred in him and in the relationship. All that was left, all that was real between them was love. It is always like that: buried within, sometimes not even too deeply, love is trying to find a way out past all the trappings of the ego.
The holy instant is the Holy Spirit’s most useful learning device for teaching you love’s meaning.
For its purpose is to suspend judgment entirely.
Judgment always rests on the past, for past experience is the basis on which you judge.
Judgment becomes impossible without the past, for without it you do not understand anything.
Text 15.V.1:1-4
Take therefore no thought for the morrow:
for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.
Matthew 6:34
What If? Fear and the Future
I turned on the television one evening and checked out some favorite channels. There is a show about the Apocalypse, one on Life after People, one called Doomsday and another on the ten most likely ways in which the world will end—not if but when. We have “if only” in the past, and “what if” in the future. “What if I get sick?” “What if I do not have enough money?” “What if there is nobody to take care of me?” The ego teaches that hell is in the future, when we get found out, when the body becomes diseased, when we die and must then relinquish our hold on the world. Time in the ego’s system is a teaching device for compounding guilt. It is an opportunity for me to look at all the mistakes I’ve made. There is, however, no fear in the present. In this moment, and this moment alone, each Holy Instant stands clear and unblemished by shadows of the past. I cannot be present if I’m living in the past or projecting the future. The younger we are, the more we project the future. The older we are, the more we project the past and when we are middle-aged we are nowhere, living in both the past and the future, and then we have what we call a mid-life crisis.
Patience is natural to the teacher of God.
All he sees is certain outcome, at a time perhaps
unknown to him as yet, but not in doubt.
Manual for Teachers 4.VIII.1:2-3
Patience
Stopping along a country road, a city-slicker noticed a farmer lifting one of his pigs up to an apple tree and holding the pig there as it ate one apple after another. The farmer repeated this with a second and then a third pig. “Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about,” said the city-slicker, “but if you just shook the tree so the apples fell to the ground, wouldn’t it save a lot of time?” “Time?” said the farmer, “What does time matter to a pig?”
Coming downstairs in our house in the morning, I sometimes see our cat, Pockets, sitting by the sliding glass door leading out onto the deck waiting to be let in. Sometimes, when I open the door, he just sits there. Pockets has all the time in the world. Animals do not “think” about time. They do not make an investment in time. They don’t have time for it. Animals do not have clocks, and therefore, no seconds, minutes, and hours. Animals are more “immediate” than we are and their simple, uncomplicated presence is one of the reasons we love them so much.
Timelessness is Reality
The word patient comes from patience, meaning someone who endures an illness. Patience comes as we find freedom from time. The center of a cyclone is a point of absolute stillness. Around the outside there is an immense amount of chaos. In the center, everything stops, and there is complete silence. The Holy Spirit invites us to step into the center where chaos has stopped and only eternity remains. From this point, we may see chaos and yet not be part of it. The crucifixion could be seen as a moment of absolute chaos, yet Jesus does not see it this way, which is what makes him the Christ. Eternity is timelessness. God is timelessness. Love is timelessness. Christ is timelessness. In timelessness, things just are. Being is a state in which the mind is in communication with everything that is real (T-4.VII.4:4). There is nothing to control or manipulate. Jesus stepped away from eternity, came into time, but remembered eternity. We step away from eternity, and then we get caught in time; we get caught in the past and our histories; we get caught in dramas and lose sight of eternity.
Arrogance is the denial of love,
because love shares and arrogance withholds.
As long as both appear to you to be desirable the concept of choice, which is not of God, will remain with you.
While this is not true in eternity it “is” true in time,
so that while time lasts in your mind there will be choices.
Time itself is your choice.
If you would remember eternity, you must look only on the eternal.
If you allow yourself to become preoccupied with the temporal,
you are living in time. As always, your choice is determined by what you value.
Time and eternity cannot both be real,
because they contradict each other.
If you will accept only what is timeless as real,
you will begin to understand eternity and make it yours.
ACIM Text 10.V.14:1-9
Our basic problem is arrogance. What I see is a dream, created by me. In this dream, I make myself right. Making myself right is separation. It is not a choice that occurred in the past. It is a moment-by-moment decision. My desires to be special are my own present, mis-creations coming from the arrogant demand of my ego.
“God and the soul,” says German Meister Eckhart (1260-1326), “are not in space-time. They belong to the realms that are intrinsically or essentially real.” “Time ends,’ he says, “where there is no before or after.” We perceive, says Eckhart, only a shadow of the real, living in a world created and sustained by our own cognition. Or as American psychic, Edgar Cayce expressed it, “There is no time; it is one time. There is no space; it is one space.” Space is as much an illusion as time, as space is the projection of separation. Without space there would be no separation.
Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Buddha (563 BCE—483 BCE)
Patience, Focus, and Flow
In the mystical experience, the mind is concentrated in the moment. People feel alive during emergencies because the moment calls for focus and full attention. What is happening is precisely what is going on in the moment. We’ve all had the experience of needing to study for an exam, or needing to concentrate on something at work and in that process, we discover that focusing the mind, reduces time. The monkey-mind jumps from one distraction to another. By doing what we are called to do—in the moment—right now—we reduce time by not allowing for delay, or distraction. Studies on happiness show that people who are able to “focus” are happier people because of their ability to live in the moment. This heightened focus also enables them to get into a “flow,” where it is easy to lose track of time.
Having made time, the ego easily becomes a slave to time. If there is no time, I can't be in a hurry. We have all the time in the world precisely because we are not of the world. We say of someone who does not complain, that that individual has the “patience of a saint.” Why do we equate patience with saintliness unless we know that, in fact, patience is saintly? Teachers of God are patient. They can afford to be. If you truly knew that this moment is the only time there is, would you chose to argue with a brother?
It is believed by most that time passes;
In actual fact, it stays where it is.
This idea of passing may be called time,
it is, however, an incorrect idea,
for since one sees it only as passing,
One cannot understand that it stays just where it is.
Zen Master Dogen Zenji (1200—1253, Japan)
Time does not move; it stands still. For this reason, our relationship with God is vertical rather than horizontal. It is in precisely this moment that complete salvation is available for us. Truth is, there is no time and that is literally the end of the story.
One source of perceived discouragement from which you may suffer is your belief that this takes time,
and that the results of the Holy Spirit’s teachings are far in the future.
This is not so. For the Holy Spirit uses time in His Own way, and is not bound by it.
Text 15.1:1-3
Always Has No Direction
A minister is addressing his congregation and he says, “All those who want to go to Heaven, stand up.” Everyone stood up except one older man who stubbornly kept his seat. The minister looked at him and said, “Don’t you want to go to heaven?” “No,” said the man. So the priest said, “Do you mean to tell me you don’t want to go to Heaven when you die?” The man responded, “Of course, I want to go to Heaven when I die. I thought you meant now. ”If you were offered the opportunity for enlightenment right now—would you take it? I occasionally ask this question in workshops and very few people raise their hands saying yes they would.
Not needing to live in time, not needing to live according to an image, or be caught in a drama enables our experience of eternity. It is possible to be so present that past (guilt) and future (fear) lose their significance and imprison us no longer. There is no sin, no guilt, and no fear in Heaven. Heaven is here because there is no other place, and Heaven is now because there is no other time. (M-24.6:4-7) Heaven is immediately available, but the ego puts God off until tomorrow, until the very last moment; until time runs out.
Those who are certain of the outcome
can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.
Manual for Teachers 4.VIII.1:1
I was talking with a friend and asked, “What have you been doing?” She said, “Nothing,” and I asked if she had been doing nothing well. To stop thinking would be the end of the ego, so the ego must worry to stay alive. The ego must have problems. Otherwise, there is no ego. There are no problems in eternity. God does not have a problem; to the ego everything is problematic.
The memory of God comes to the quiet mind.
W-23.I.1
As I travel to give lectures, I usually stay in the homes of Course students. This includes the home of one 90+ year old woman student/teacher named Mary Louise Hamilton. Last time I was with her, I asked her how she spent her time and she said, “I don’t watch television much anymore except to check on the weather, I don’t read very much anymore. I don’t talk to too many people. I’m not lonely. I will admit to one addiction. I love doing crossword puzzles. Mostly,” she said, “I sit and think about God.” I knew that she meant what she said. The goal of the Course is peace and happiness. Can you imagine that there is anything you want more?
When peace comes at last to those who wrestle
with temptation and fight against the giving in to sin;
when the light comes at last into the mind given to contemplation;
or when the goal is finally achieved by anyone, it always comes
with just one happy realization; “I need do nothing.”
Text 18.VII.5:7
Impatience
We live in a world where we wait in lines at the bank, the grocery store, the ATM, the movies, and so on. We wait in our cars for accidents, crowded conditions, and construction delays. Waiting in line is a good time to practice patience. It is a good time to meditate. The moment I notice I am being impatient, I can say, “I can be patient now!” This line isn’t going to move for a while, so it’s better to wait with peace of mind than a distressed mind. Waiting in line is simple. Just observe. Watch the world with a tranquil mind. If the cat doesn’t go out the door when I open it, or my child takes a long time to get ready, I may put my foot behind my cat and give him a nudge or I may ask my child to hurry up. I can do it, however, without being upset and annoyed. I can do it with a tranquil mind. Remembering Home is being Home.
Your patience with your brother is your patience with yourself.
Is not a child of God worth patience?
I have shown you infinite patience because my will is that of our Father, from Whom I learned of infinite patience.
His Voice was in me as It is in you,
speaking for patience towards the Sonship. . . .
Text 5.VI.11:4-7
We wander about doing all sorts of things other than God’s Will; yet, God does not scold us, nor does He desert us. No matter how far we wander away; no matter how much we may block our ears, the Holy Spirit always gently calls us Home. God has infinite patience with us. Can we not demonstrate some patience with our brothers?
Only infinite patience produces immediate effects.
This is the way in which time is exchanged for eternity.
Infinite patience calls upon infinite love,
and by producing results now it renders time unnecessary.
Text 5.VI.12:1-3
There is, however, nothing to be in a hurry for. There is not someplace else to go. After all, no matter wherever we go—there we are. A woman came to me anxious to gain some spiritual perspective. A friend told her about the Course and she was upset when I said I had no copies of the Course to give her; but, a new shipment was coming in and I said, I would get a copy to her the next week. She came to the study group for four weeks and then quit. One day, I bumped into her in the grocery store and asked her if she was still studying the Course. “No,” she said, “that is way too slow.” She needed answers now. I told her the answer was available now but she was looking for magic not a miracle; and, I had no magic to give her.
If we’re going to learn a musical instrument, we need to practice, practice, and practice. If we’re going to learn a foreign language—we’ve got to “hang in there” in order to “get it.” Mastery of the Course comes with patience. The complexities that bind us in knots took us a lifetime to develop; and letting go is often slow. Answers are available now but we have to be patient to experience the results. Wherever you are—be there!
A Holy Instant is as long as it takes to reestablish perfect sanity, perfect peace, and perfect love (T-15.I.4:1). It is as long as it takes to trade hell for Heaven. It is as long as it takes to remember immortality. The Holy Instant is a moment of aliveness, a time in which we give and receive perfect communication with all minds (T-IV. 6:5). It is a moment in which we choose forgiveness over a grievance. My friend, Rev. Ellyn Kravette, tells the story of her relationship with her mother. They were stuck in power and control issues. Her mother was 96 when she died and Evelyn took care of her during the last 10 years of her life. During that time, she moved to the in-between world and she forgot about her grievances. One day, she called Ellyn over to her bed and she said, “We have such a lovely relationship, how did that happen?” There is a place outside of time where a choice is made for forgiveness instead of guilt. It is this instant and every instant in which truth and love abide. It is a time in which we give and receive in perfect communication. It is a miniature of Heaven. It is eternity.
On this side of the bridge to timelessness you understand nothing.
But as you step lightly across it, upheld by timelessness,
you are directed straight to the Heart of God.
At its center, and only there, you are safe forever,
because you are complete forever.
Text 16.IV.13:6-8
The Course is not about the world.
It’s not about the body.
It’s not about time.
It’s about the Mind.
If we can get the mind to be still— we see.
We always have been. We always will be.
Peace,